Little by little, all the extra care they show towards us gets to annoy us tremendously. At the beginning, we try to keep it to ourselves, so that we don’t bother anybody, then, we try to avoid visits and telephone calls, just to make sure we won’t start a scandal. Nevertheless, the more we try to stay away from any uncomfortable talks, the pushier our parents get.

The question arising is how to find equilibrium? How to escape the daily phone calls, which provide you with unnecessary advice, without making your parents feel bad, rejected or misunderstood.

Depending, obviously, on the parents, there are a few strategies that you can try. For example, if you know your mother is going to call you at 8 am sharp, in order to tell you what the weather is like outside and what you should wear that day, ring her up five minutes earlier than she would normally call. Act natural, like you didn’t plan in detail the call. Ask her how she slept, how the dog is and inform her on the weather. Tell her you just watched the weather forecast ten minutes ago and she should definitely wear warm clothes, in case she goes shopping. First, she’ll have the impression she forgot to call at the regular hour and inform you about the weather, but then she will start thinking that you follow her advice and you check the forecast before leaving for work.

We always have to remember that, although we grew up, our parents keep on seeing in us children in need to receive help and advice. That is why, they constantly try to be present in our lives and protect us, in the way they consider best.

But, in spite of all the good intentions, an over caring parent can be a problem to anybody. So what do we do when the only hobby our parents have, is to go on taking care of the poor 30 years old child, meaning your own person? If no method, like proving we are capable of handling things by our own, works, than you definitely have to start finding another hobby for your parents. It might take a while, but you can’t give up! Keep our mind open and think about options like: getting them another pet; subscribe them to dancing club which organizes daily meetings – this way they’ll be busy, healthy and also tired and they might give you a break; call their friends and invite them to pay them visits more often etc.

You’ll see that reaching the purpose is much easier than you expect, but be sure that, after a while, you will accept those phone calls, so don’t make the mistake to totally break the relations with your parents!

The most important thing, when you have a public speech, is to let your audience see the real you, not an image you are trying to project. Don’t try to go in front of them with a “fake” personality – they will sense it and react negatively. Don’t try to be more than you are as playing this role will be difficult and you will almost certainly overlook some details. People are a lot more willing to accept someone who is a bit insecure or clumsy rather than accepting a person who is obviously putting on a mask and trying to cover his real personality. Being you is easy – you are doing that every day!

Try to stop and think about your difficulties of speaking to a large audience. Examine them with curiosity, try to see your reactions in context. Don’t judge your reactions – observe them.  You may find it hard to play the role of a detached observer, especially when it comes to your own person, but this is one of the best ways of discovering exactly where things start to go wrong.

Warm up your mind before a presentation, but don’t neglect your body. Every muscle of your body should be relaxed, your leg muscles should be up to the challenge of you standing up for a longer period of time. Even the slightest physical inconvenience will affect your communication, so try to step on stage with a perfect mental and physical condition.

Don’t forget to breathe. Rhythmical breaths bring a feeling of order and balance – exactly what you need before and while you hold your speech. Try to breathe deeply for about ten minutes, as this will bring precious oxygen to your brain, allowing it to function at maximum capacity.

Make contact with your audience. Try to see the scene as a place for dialogue, instead of monologue. Try to make eye contact with some audience members and adopt a relaxed posture. Smiling sincerely will always increase the chances of a good presentation. Remember that all those people in front of you are not there to judge you. They are there to receive the information you have so focus on the purpose of your speech rather than the public’s attitude towards you.

Turn your fear into a feeling of acceptance. Your fears come from the fact that you are worried that the audience will pass negative judgment on yourself or your presentation. Ignore this thought end step on stage with the belief that you are there to share information or experience and that you will be met with acceptance and interest. The more engaging the presentation, the better. Communicate with audience members and try to do this on a one on one level. By talking to a certain individual you personalize your performance, you make it become part of who you are. Keeping eye contact with your audience may be difficult and disturbing, but you should try to do it every now and then. Make a statement and then pause and glance at the public. Remember that non verbal communication claims a vital role in your presentation and the way it is perceived by others

• Talk to us about yourself. – You should make a short and relevant characterization of your own person, but talk about you for no more than 2-3 minutes. Create you image according to the job requirements: some positions require aggressiveness, ambition, while others request control, diplomacy.
• Why did you choose our company? To such a question you should answer by talking about the company’s prestige and the manner in which you will be useful to accomplishing its objectives.
• Give us a good reason to hire you instead of another candidate. This is a good moment to come up with a good publicity about yourself. Underline the new things you can bring into the company, which no one can. Show off: point out your qualities, your experience, your studies etc.
• What attracts you the most about this position and which is the less attractive thing about it? To such a question always present at least three positive aspects, but only one negative.
• What do you expect from this job? You should answer that this position offers you a great opportunity to use your experience and it helps you build the career you always wanted.
• What does an ideal working environment mean to you? Describe a professional environment, where there is no discrimination and the employees are treated correctly.
• Why do you give up your present job? If you got fired, say something about the restructure policy of the company you work for. If it’s not the case, state that it’s time for you to move forward.
• For how long do you want to work for us? Do not make the mistake to tell them that you are in search of a temporary position, until you find something better. Say that you are interested in working in this company for as long as the relation is productive on both sides.
• How would you evaluate the company you worked for? How would you characterize your former boss? You should under no circumstances say anything incriminating about them. Point all the experience you achieved y working there and put your previous boss under a good light.
• Why haven’t you found work by now? Answer that you did find several opportunities, but none of them corresponded to your expectations. Say that a job is not hard to find, but finding the ideal job it’s a real challenge.
• Can you handle deadlines and stress? Present a situation where you dealt both with deadlines and stress and point out how well you managed the situation.

Meditate a bit more on questions similar to the ones above, dress smart, be confident and you’re ready for the interview! Good luck!

Those particular moments are the very moments when you should not depend on anybody’s advice, because, even if they gave it to you with the best intentions, in case anything goes wrong, you’re always going to blame those persons. That is why specialists strongly advise you, every time you find yourself at a crossroads, to always take the decisions by yourself. Obviously, the question arising is: how can we know how to take it and which is the best solution?

The answer is never going to be simple for some of us. However, there is a technique that can be of great help and employed regularly will have great results: it is called meditation and it has been used for centuries in certain rituals and by ancients civilizations. Even in old and famous books, like the Bible, for example, we are invited to meditate, to discover and fight the evil in us and by knowledge to gain control over our decisions and our lives.

How do we proceed when meditating? First of all, we need to be away from any source of distraction, because we can’t analyze our deepest feelings and thoughts and watch a movie at the same time. Secondly, we need to ask ourselves a series of questions that will help us to better determine who we really are. The questions should relate to everyday aspects:

• What do you like doing?
• What made you most proud of yourself during your entire life?
• What is it that you always wanted to do and you never found the time? (you can include here anything from visiting friends, to going to Antarctica, or seeing your dentist)
• What role does money play in your life?
• What is it more important for you, you family life or your career?
• How much do you depend on others?

If you are worried about a certain decision, let all the questions be related to that issue. If you’re just confused in general, when asking the questions, think about the common topics that one has to deal with during his life. Don’t forget to write down the answers. Try to concentrate and to be sincere; after all, nobody will judge you.

All these questions will help you determine exactly where you stand and what is it that you want form life. All you have to do is to get the right interpretation of your own replies. In order to do that, help yourself to a coup of tea or your favorite coffee and take the time to analyze them thoroughly. Mark with a red pen whatever you find pride worthy answers and with a black one the things that don’t make you proud.

Post the list somewhere where you can see it more than once a day, or post it in more than one place. You’ll notice that, step by step, even unwillingly, the black things on your list will start turning red. Don’t forget to renew the list when most of it has turned red! It is the best way to always be aware what your expectations from life are! Good luck!

1. Decide on an aspect related to your life that you have been thinking of improving. Focus on just one specific element.
2. Project yourself as already having achieved your goal. This can be done using an “I am” statement – if you want to loose weight you might say “I am fit and feeling good in my body”.
3. When you feel confident enough try to say your word out loud and listen to your own words. Try to speak in a positive manner, eliminating any negative terms from your phrase (such as “can’t”, “don’t” etc)
4. Take a walk, maybe outside or inside your home and keep repeating the statement as you do so.
5. Let yourself wander around for at least 15 minutes, while repeating the statement in your mind. You will experience new thoughts triggered by the things you come across in your walk. If your mind gets further from the “I am” statement gently try to concentrate more on it.
6. During your walk pay extra attention to things that attract your thoughts. Have a small notebook ready and write them down, or draw a sketch of the object that got your attention.

For the second phase you have to return to your initial place and continue the process.

1. Sit down and have a look at the items you wrote about. Try to draw something that portrays all the elements you noticed – it doesn’t matter if you are good at drawing or not.
2. Breathe slowly and start looking at the drawings in front of you. Try to allow your mind to concentrate only on the drawings and nothing else.
3. Think about why those items got your attention during your walk.
4. Also think about what it is that grabs your attention now, as you look at the drawings. New ideas might have appeared as a consequence of following step 8.
5. Now try to see what the connections between the items you noticed and your “I am” statement are. Integrate the statement and the items into an imaginary story such as: “This tree I noticed had really healthy leaves, just like I am happy with the state of my body”.
6. For the last step take a few slower, deep breaths and think about how this exercise worked.

You might have noticed that your mind tends to selects elements from the surroundings on its own. It is interesting to see that all the selected items are somehow related to the “I am” statement.  You can use the benefits of dreaming actively for a very wide variety of situations. The make believe game you play puts you on a direct path to solving your problem. Constantly analyzing and worrying about what is troubling you can take a long and winding path, but that will take a lot of your time and energy, while the results might be unsatisfactory.

One of the main elements that lead to an illness is stress. Being responsible for a huge number of sicknesses, this item, which we develop in our minds, can be reduced through a good usage of yoga techniques. Here are just some of the problems that are related to an over active stress response: depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, some types of diabetes mellitus, cardio-vascular disease, several autoimmune diseases, irritable bowel syndrome, colitis, reproductive problems, and an aggravated suppression of the immune system.

The response of the sympathetic nervous system can trigger stress in our metabolism. The reaction to various outside stimuli is also known as the “fight or flight” response – the mind and body, faced with an endangering or disturbing element, prepare for one of the two options. Physically, this is manifested through an instantaneous heart rate increase, together with a high ascent of blood pressure. Breathing gets shallow and the muscles tense in anticipation to the following action. Internally, this response reduces the blood flow to internal organs and processes that are not essential in that particular moment (such as digestion and elimination) are shut down. This state of increased awareness and readiness is beneficial on a short term, preparing our body to react to the outside interventions and stimuli. Both in a “fight” and in a “flight” situation, the body is physically and mentally prepared to act. The problem arises when long-term exposure to similar stress takes place. This “fight or flight” response is only meant to help on short periods of time – the longer it is activated the less resources will the body have to function normally.

There is a natural countermeasure for the “fight or flight” response. It is called the parasympathetic nervous system or the “relaxation response.” It is automatically activated when the elements that caused the stress are gone but it is also possible to increase its effects by breathing deeply and relaxing your muscles. By increasing the length of this process we allow our body to recover faster, enabling it to eliminate the harmful effects of stress in a prompt and efficient manner.

Yoga highlights the idea that by using breathing and relaxation techniques you can reduce the harmful effects of stress factors on your body. A lessened “fight or flight” response can also be achieved by looking at adverse factors as challenges rather than threats. This approach allows your mind to focus on finding a solution, rather than creating an abrupt response. Another concept employed by this technique is that of acting versus reacting, of taking initiative versus responding to outside factors.

The positive effects of yoga during a healing process are undeniable. However, these techniques should only be used as a form of support and the healing shouldn’t rely solely on them. The best results are achieved by combining yoga with traditional and modern medicine and by addressing a problem both from a mental and physical point of view.

We believe that it is better to hide our failures and disappointments, as they are the ones that can cause pain. The psychological connections go a lot further, but the main idea is that our mind naturally eliminates all the factors that are potentially harmful to our body. This is how our most daring dreams and ideals get hidden somewhere deep in our subconscious mind and we are afraid to bring them out. The idea of succeeding is often much weaker than the notion of failure, and this fear is keeping our potential to a lower limit.

The fear of believing in your ideals is a naturally occurring phenomenon, but it is also greatly amplified by the society in which we grow up. When turning into adults, teenagers have to abandon the dreams and hopes they had as children and see the “actual reality” surrounding them. Society teaches us to follow a set of footsteps and never go stray. By creating order, this process also limits creativity and passion. We may become great citizens, but what good will that do if deep inside we feel like we should want more?

There are a few tricks that may help you get closer to your ideals. Begin by writing them down. Seeing the words on paper has a strong effect and you will soon realize if those dreams are worth fighting for. Try to examine each of your goals through you own eyes. Don’t let the others around you guide your view – you are trying to reach your goal, not theirs. Don’t write your list in stone – there’s nothing wrong to erasing or adding new goals.

Try to envision yourself reaching your ideal. By constructing an image of success in your conscious mind you will also influence your subconscious to do the same. Project yourself in the future, with all the skills that you need to reach that ideal. If you do this often enough you will reinforce your beliefs and increase the chances of getting where you wish.

Sometimes it is hard to manage all the issues mentioned above on your own. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from someone you care about. Share your feelings with a special person that will support your actions and always be in your corner. Try to judge if the trust you will invest in that particular person (parent, brother, wife, best friend etc.) will not fail. Even if you think you won’t be accepted with your new ideals – give it a shot.

There is no magical way of achieving success but you can always increase the chances of reaching your goals with these simple exercises. When you manage to eliminate, or at least diminish, the fear that is holding you back, all of your expectations will seem easier to achieve. It is not easy to take a journey into your own soul, but if you manage to gather sufficient determination this could prove one of the best trips you have ever taken.

Begin by finding a comfortable position, in a chair or armchair. Have a piece of paper or notebook and a pen ready and put them besides you. Try to relax your body and your mind and breath rhythmically through your nose. When you have achieved a state of increased self-awareness go back in time and think of an unpleasant memory that has marked your entire life. You don’t have to find something dramatic – in childhood, for example, even the most insignificant looking remark may have a huge impact on your personality. Let’s say that, as a child, you broke a crystal vase that your mother held dear. She might have said: “You can’t do anything right!”. Of course, that was just an anger driven reaction on her part that disappeared after a short while but you, as a child, were deeply affected by it.

When you have selected your past event try to briefly write it down and finish with a phrase that summarizes your experience (e.g. “You can’t do anything right!”). Make sure your breathing is still rhythmical and relaxed and then think about a minimum of three things that you can learn from that past experience. Do not get stuck on the final phrase, but try to analyze your action in a non-judgmental manner. The main idea is to identify and assimilate the things that you could have improved. Don’t quickly dismiss your past problem by saying “it was a child’s mistake”. The goal here is to find out how any mistake can teach you to become better, instead of lowering your self-esteem and confidence.

When you have found a few positive remarks about the past experience try to write them down. Don’t force your mind to come up with the ideas; instead, try to let everything flow naturally. After you’re done writing make sure to read the statements a couple of times and remember their essence. Put the paper aside and get back to connecting with your breathing. Take a minute or two to focus solely on your breathing and then recall the positive ideas you jotted down on the piece of paper. As an example, in the case of the broken vase, you could write: “I have to concentrate more on my actions”. Repeat that thought in your mind and make sure it represents you completely. Do the same with all the other positive ideas you cam up with. Believing in them and repeating their essence enables you to make them part of who you are.

This exercise is especially useful when you are aware that you are about to go through a similar experience. You may not be in danger of breaking another vase, but you might be in the situation where something a friend holds dear will be in your hands, in your responsibility. If you feel stressed and fearful about that situation make sure you recall the positive aspects from your exercise. Repeat them in your mind before the event and your self-confidence will receive a well-deserved boost, allowing you to do your job free from any negative roots to the past.